alright, it's back to reality.
I never realized life was so complicated.
My perceptions are changing now. Entirely.
I'm still hanging on to my values though; that's what kept me moving in the first place.
I haven't been to school for a long while.
People have been asking.
Out of care, out of concern, out of curiosity.
Now, I'm dealing with the question : WHY?
If you asked me this a while back, I would not have had an answer for you.
But now, I do.
I wonder how many people actually know about the real happening. Not just bits and pieces, not just rumours, not just hearsay.
In all honesty, I've been going through a tough time in school.
The result of sticking on to my values (largely integrity), believing in the idea of being heard for the benefit of the situation and being totally naive in the process.
Just moments ago, someone (respectable to me) told me, it was not worth it, pushing such ideas through, for the person I'm facing is not one who is extremely receptive. But till this point in time, my stand still remains : I do not regret raising up any issue that I did. If part of my sacrifice does result in a slight adaptation in the system/management, I would be glad I made the first step.
Even if nothing comes out of it, at least I know I won't step out of my high school education feeling regretful or feeling like I could have done something more.
Without facts put properly into place, I'm sure I have been misunderstood by some, not all.
So have the people who have been standing by me through this darkest period (my parents).
I feel a great need, a strong desire to pen my thoughts down, to put down the facts as well as the feelings of one who has gone through this process.
But I'm tired.
I'm losing hope.
There're just so many things to say, so many things to review and reflect on.
I guess I need rest.